So i'm at work being a diligent employee... *tap tap tap on the shoulder*- I turn around to see my bosses boss... The only statement "where the phuq is my lumpia?!?!". Now you have to understand something... My bosses boss isn't some enigmatic stuffed shirt blow hard with little to no clue of what its like to be me. Not to long ago he got on the floor and knocked shit out mike tysons' punchout style, so hes still got it - not to mention hes probably the only boss in the world id follow on a request into fire because he merely asked. In short the man wants lumpia - simple and fair request - he gets lumpia.
Lumpia is something that you make in a batch for a small family and im making it for work. My boss is one person, there are 11 people on my team plus my boss - so 13 people. then there's the second later shift team. so possibly 25 mouths will be wrapped around my lumpia at some point. *** THAT WAS A JOKE you PLEBIAN!!!!***
A lumpia to me is what would happen if an egroll and taquito got it on in the back of a '72 Nova and had a kid. more directly think a longer skinny eggoll with mostly meat and spices, you get the idea. so it takes afew to get you "Full"...
With that in mind, im making as many as i can:
The issue? prep for this is like something from "behind the scenes of Iron Chef"
today ill get to hitting several stores in preparation for this "Event"
Let me break this down ;)
Ill need:
100 lumpia wrappers
afew pounds of various meats
spices
oil
eggs
other various stuff
and some time.
The Breakdown
make all the lumpia tonight (granted the whole week is OT)
get up early and cook it tomorrow morning BEFORE work...
Then head into work with said morsels and hope for the best.
Now what can go wrong? This is my first solo project with lumpia.
So im a little nervous about it :) should be ok though.
*bonus notes
Plebian - 1533 (n.), 1566 (adj.), from L. plebius "of the common people," from plebes "the common people" (as opposed to patricians, etc.), perhaps from PIE base *ple- "to be full" (see plenary). Slang shortening pleb is attested from 1865 (see plebe).
* so i called you a snowflake HEHEHE
Stay Tuned - for the actually lumpia factory!
Signed,
The Supreme Commander of Paraguay
Thursday, April 23, 2009
Wednesday, April 22, 2009
Disclaimers.
So,
This is the first Blog of probably very few in the long line of Random Acts of Dan Series. That being said lets get a few things out of the way:
1. No animals were hurt in the making of this Blog - If they were they probably deserved it!
2. If the facts aren't right - I'm ignorant - I can admit it, why can't you?
3. Spelling, punctuation, grammar, and syntax are and can be replaced by my own at any time without notice for any reason without notice - If i decide to use my own words and you can't decipher them. Well, perhaps all those years as a military code breaker WEREN'T worth it after
all - chances are you've made worse mistakes ;)
4. If you can't laugh you need to leave now - if you can't take a joke - find witless humor not to your liking, or run ons for no good reason - again leave now!
5. Nothing in this blog will be politically, socially, societally, religiously, or mentally correct - any appearance that it is is strictly coincidental and completely unintended.
6. this line left intentionally blank.
Why am I here?
Simply put, This is an experiment... I was told by a friend I should be a comedian, or that I was funny, or maybe that I smell funny, and people laugh behind by back... ENOUGH! back to the point! In any case I find myself with an extreme amount of time in some cases and decided this may be a healthy way to express myself and also bone up on my typing... which is dreadful! In either case here we are you, me, and the dull glow of the monitor, and the hum of your PC fans and the downloading bar of Pr0nz... wait, strike that. in any case the experiment. hopefully there will be some chuckles, maybe there will be some tears, and maybe ill rant about some keyboard flexing half-wit who wants to gripe about my baseless boring and seriously horrible blog... Jokes on you! You ACTUALLY READ IT !
What's next?
Well over the course of the next few weeks ill be letting you into the mind of an less than average, socially inarticulate, uncomfortable, thirty somethings life... You may laugh. You may call the cops and have them watch me. And just hopefully you'll find out something about me. stay tuned.
Signed,
The King of Sweden.
This is the first Blog of probably very few in the long line of Random Acts of Dan Series. That being said lets get a few things out of the way:
1. No animals were hurt in the making of this Blog - If they were they probably deserved it!
2. If the facts aren't right - I'm ignorant - I can admit it, why can't you?
3. Spelling, punctuation, grammar, and syntax are and can be replaced by my own at any time without notice for any reason without notice - If i decide to use my own words and you can't decipher them. Well, perhaps all those years as a military code breaker WEREN'T worth it after
all - chances are you've made worse mistakes ;)
4. If you can't laugh you need to leave now - if you can't take a joke - find witless humor not to your liking, or run ons for no good reason - again leave now!
5. Nothing in this blog will be politically, socially, societally, religiously, or mentally correct - any appearance that it is is strictly coincidental and completely unintended.
6. this line left intentionally blank.
Why am I here?
Simply put, This is an experiment... I was told by a friend I should be a comedian, or that I was funny, or maybe that I smell funny, and people laugh behind by back... ENOUGH! back to the point! In any case I find myself with an extreme amount of time in some cases and decided this may be a healthy way to express myself and also bone up on my typing... which is dreadful! In either case here we are you, me, and the dull glow of the monitor, and the hum of your PC fans and the downloading bar of Pr0nz... wait, strike that. in any case the experiment. hopefully there will be some chuckles, maybe there will be some tears, and maybe ill rant about some keyboard flexing half-wit who wants to gripe about my baseless boring and seriously horrible blog... Jokes on you! You ACTUALLY READ IT !
What's next?
Well over the course of the next few weeks ill be letting you into the mind of an less than average, socially inarticulate, uncomfortable, thirty somethings life... You may laugh. You may call the cops and have them watch me. And just hopefully you'll find out something about me. stay tuned.
Signed,
The King of Sweden.
Subscribe to:
Posts (Atom)